Got my rear in gear!

Well tonight was a evening 5k that I had been looking forward to for awhile. I did not prepare for it like I should of, as in I did not run this week at all! My last run was last Sunday, I know terrible, but I did not have a goal in mind for a PR, I honestly just wanted to finish without walking. I did, but barely! I was wayyyy too emotional and was near tears the last quarter of a mile. It  kind of just hit me tonight before the race that this was benefiting colon cancer. With all the stuff going on with my grandpa last week, it seemed very coincidental and karma-like, so I felt that I needed to do it for him. (They found a tumor in his colon last week.) So I ran the whole thing without walking, but i started getting teary eyed near the end and my throat started to close up, like I was having an asthma attack. I was whistling while I was breathing, I think I scared Carrie. I told her to keep going, I knew she was going to kick it into high gear and I would not be able to stay with her. She rocks. I love running with her.
Hmmm, on another note I got to hang out with my nephew Weston all day yesterday! Love that little boy. Honestly though I do not know how mothers do it! Bravo to them, because my arms are so sore from holding him and playing with him!! ( he is only 5 months old ) I really enjoyed it though, but it made me a little sad that I haven't been able to do that with my other nephew, Bruce. ( he lives in RI, I live in KS) I really need to plan a trip out to visit soon!!
Going to shower and sleep! 10k is this next Saturday! Eek!!

Stress

Wow, what a difference a day can make. Last Sunday Carrie and I went on a lng run and it was amazing. That night my whole world became more difficult. My mom called (she NEVER calls, only texts) to tell me that Papa was in the hospital. Talk about terrible week for this. I have this stupid two week class I am in and this weekend is memorial day weekend (plane tickets are super pricey on holidays) and I am scheduled at work full time. Well she told me that Mimi called her on Sunday to say Papa couldn't walk, my mom went to their house and found Papa sitting on the stairs not able to move much. She took him to the hospital and they started doing some tests. Basically he has been having dark bloody stools for over a week, he is on Coumadin and obviously bleeding out, his crit was super low (6, not really a live able number :/ ) and he has a rediculously low HR and he decided to stop taking his Lasix because he would have an accident on his way to work. (my Grandpa is 80 years old and still works full time)
I think the worst thing of all this is that I have just enough medical background to know that this is not good. When you have a crit that low, you should have  super high heart rate because your heart should be working harder to pump the blood around. Anyways I have been super worried about him and Mimi, she does not handle stress well ( last time something terrible happened in my family she had a heart attack). To top it all off I feel like I should be out there to just be supportive, but I honestly feel like I am stuck here in KS, until I am done with this class and the holiday is over. There really is not much I can do out there except be there, and I am constantly getting updates, so I just need to breathe.
On another note, I hate my professor for this online class I have to take! There that feels better just saying it! lol. Seriously though. I have to just buck up and finish this class ASAP.
Well that is enough depressing words for today. I am going for a much needed run with Carrie tonight!

long run

Amazing! well it didn't start off as amazing. Last night I could not fall asleep. I finally decided around 11 that I was going to take some benedryl. Finally fell asleep, but when my alarm went off this morning I felt hungover! It was sooooo hard to get up, but I did. Met up with Carrie at the park for an hour long run. She got her garmin, which was very cool and this was my first run with my new phone. Both tools worked great. The first part of our run I really did not think I would get far. I was so tired and felt terrible, but once we got going the feeling went away. We ran 4.5 miles with only one 10 second walk, it was AMAZING! I loved the feeling and I am soooo happy we did it.The river run has nothing on us. We got so much confidence out of this run! On to do some homework!

binge eating...

Thank you Mimi. She gave me my terrible sugar addiction, but not only that when I lived with her it was always an effort to get her to eat. This meant that we would eat randomly through the day, ugh. I love my grandma to pieces, but geez I totally hate my habitual eating tendencies. I went to the grocery store tonight because I have been craving veggies. I did really well shopping, but I got english muffins and chez whiz. yup definitely one of those things I should not keep in the apartment because I have almost finished them!

Anywho, Carrie and I are going for an hour long run tomorrow morning. I am kinda sorta scared that I wont be able to run for a full hour. Fingers crossed! The river run is coming up in 2 weeks,  it is sooo soon! Oh and we also decided that we are going to do 2 half  marathons this fall...ya we are nuts! LOL!

dizzy

Well today was worthless. I called out of work this morning because i woke up after sleeping maybe 3-4 hours feeling really pukey and dizzy. I tried to sleep more and kinda switched between restlessness and sweating. I have been thinking about getting off my medication, mainly due to some unwanted side effects, but then again maybe I shouldn't.
Otherwise I tried to run today, because we are supposed to go to Manhattan for Jessica's graduation tomorrow, not a very good run. I seem to hit the imaginary, but very real wall at 2 miles. Ugh, it is frustrating. Anyways, better shower!

First blog

This is so exciting! I have thought about doing this for a few years now, but never had enough balls to write honestly about me to the public. So I am going to try and make this my new habit, I want to chronicle my life and my experiences like this is my journal so I can look back when I am older.